Service Array:
Individual Skill Development and Enhancement
Specializes in Tenant Support
I was born in northern Wisconsin, but I moved around growing up in other parts of Wisconsin. In high school I started experiencing panic attacks and really had no idea what was happening at that time. I was scared and didn’t know how to reach out. I began self-medicating to ease the symptoms I would experience.
It was in this self-medicating that over time I started using more and more and found myself in the web of addiction. With this my choices and experiences created trauma for me and followed me for a while. I have had periods of sobriety, but each time I would relapse the experiences and traumas were worse. I found myself in a deep depression and I couldn’t get myself out. I was ashamed and with my choices I continued to bury my feelings in my addiction.
This led to several experiences with incarceration and the last one that lasted years. During this time, I experienced many different systems that at times created more trauma for me.
When I was incarcerated, I found out my mother was dying of cancer, and I fought so hard to be able to get out and to see her. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and I struggled sleeping through the night while incarcerated. As a mother, being away from my child and being away from my own mother brought me to the point that I wanted to do whatever I could to get better.
I completed the Earned Release Program and was able to be her caretaker upon release. My daughter was with my family and within a couple months of getting out I regained custody and placement.
While I was incarcerated, I began running and exercising every day and I continued when I was released. This was for me the only way I could cope with my mental health symptoms. I set goals every day for running and was able to run my first half marathon which for me was an experience I will never forget. I chose the things I wanted for my life, and I went for it. I struggled with barriers and found others to communicate with. In these struggles I found resources that helped me move forward. Most recently I graduated from UWEC with a Bachelors in Sociology.
I struggled for a long time and knowing I could get out of that struggle I wanted to share that with others and to walk with others as well as advocate for others. It can be overwhelming and at times I wish I had someone to walk with me.
I know how hard it can be and I have been in the darkest places due to my addiction and mental health. As a mother I have experienced shame, and guilt and I work every day to understand my worth and to continue to be able to be in my daughter’s life.